Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
wat bout pragnant strippers??
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
