The maid of honor just puked.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
