is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
