Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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