I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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