if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
