So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just invented taco cereal.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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