dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
