How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
