I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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