It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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