I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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