How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize