Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize