all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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