If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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