i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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