I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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