Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
