garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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