Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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