You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
