He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
