I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
