Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my being single is dangerous.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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