peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
