you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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