i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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