there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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