I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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