Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
