my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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