I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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