You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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