they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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