upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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