Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
