I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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