Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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