How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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