What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
