Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
