Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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