Barsexuality is the new black.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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