so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
