I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
