So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
