I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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