Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
