i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
