I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
