where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
