Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
