I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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