Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize