i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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