Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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