Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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