I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
